Well that changes things

For the first time in two years I woke up without worrying what kind of day it would be. The tension in my chest that I've gotten so used to isn't there anymore. I'm not on edge. I'm not impatient. I'm at peace. What kind of person am I to feel this way at such a time? A very normal person, that's who.

Last week we had to admit one of our children into inpatient psychiatric. He is going to be moved to a residential treatment facility within the next two weeks. We don't know how long he'll be there. We hope it's no more than 90 days, but I'm going to be realistic. I've spent the past two years minimizing and clinging to small victories. Those small victories were among the most beautiful moments I could ever experience, but they were not enough to build a happy and safe family.

We are not giving up. Faithfulness doesn't always lead to success. That's a lie that humanity has built as an excuse to neglect those scary things that what we know are right. Often faithless leads to pain and we are called to endure it. In this time I know I'm not called to give up. Residential treatment is not giving up. It is a season. No matter what happens, I feel very confident that it all serves a greater plan.

And I'm so joyful that I've got nothing to cling to but faith.